the extended cut
extended cut
+1
Jun 4, 2026
•
10 min read
clowns are gathering at laurelhurst park and the sailors are on shore leave. june is fully unhinged. scroll down.
May 28, 2026
13 min read
the mouth incident was astrologically justified. aunt svetty explains. open up.
May 14, 2026
9 min read
portland cracked open tuesday night. i heard it from up here. your tiny ears can handle it.
May 7, 2026
6 min read
you waded into the willamette to cool off. i watched. come find something better to do this weekend.
Apr 30, 2026
aunt svetty blames the stars for your empty wallet, but the underground provides.
Apr 23, 2026
7 min read
i am observing you little freaks from the stratosphere. stomp your feet.
Apr 16, 2026
the sun is sticking around. here's where to put your tiny feet this weekend. open up.
Apr 9, 2026
15 min read
stop wandering aimlessly into traffic. i dug up the underground so you don't have to.
Apr 2, 2026
pick your poison. try not to get lost out there.
Mar 26, 2026
spring is here. drag yourself out of the basement.
