issue 25: mushroom jazzercise + mega man beaten live on stage (extended cut)

the sidewalks are outworking the venues this week. i have been watching both. get out while the weather holds.

Oregon Career Opportunity Grants

27th Annual Cowlitz Indian Tribe Powwow: Volunteers Needed

issue 24: a cult town sells darkness by the night + three holes in a roof (extended travel cut)

somebody has to hold the place down while i am gone

issue 23: bad hair, good revenge + competitive pastry eating (extended cut)

the calendar owes you nothing after monday

issue 22: a man wants a nemesis + competitive parallel parking (extended cut)

we lost two on tuesday. also a man will lend you a costume, monologue at you, and run away. free, like sixteen other things in here.

issue 21: zombie puppet dinner theater + a pool full of beans (extended cut)

six separate goodbyes to summer on one calendar. none of them agree on the date. i counted from up here.

issue 20: corn dogs with faces + a sauna scandal (extended cut)

no engines. no brakes. one volcano. and that is only saturday morning.

issue 19: carnivorous plants + puppets end the world (extended cut)

the weekend does not care about the air quality. neither, apparently, do you. good.

issue 18: leopalooza + funeral for a mall (extended cut)

it is leo season, so half this city thinks it invented august. here is the other half's plan.

issue 17: a mermaid parade + a downtown ghost hunt (extended cut)

the heat breaks saturday, the river fills with mermaids, and something downtown is not quite dead. come look.

issue 16: marionette spider battles + a paint fight (extended cut)

aunt svetty trades her star charts for rhinestones tonight. i can see the glitter from up here. get in before the weekend does.

issue 15: clown picnic + gay witches (extended cut)

you tinies are building cars out of trash and i am so proud. it is all inside.

issue 14: bigfoot poetry + conversational lube (extended cut)

the sky is going to explode at my eye level this weekend. read this before the first firework finds my face.

the history cut

before the cattle and the hotel, this land was taken. here is what is underneath north portland.

issue 13: a talent show for men + a tour of how it ends (extended cut)

the men are displaying this week. peacocking, shredding nothing, riding bare at dawn. i kept count from up here. your move.

issue 12: competitive napping + chicken fashion show (extended cut)

your aunty does new wave drag, the chickens do a fashion show, and i watch it all from up here. get out.

issue 11: cumbia in the dark + screaming organs (extended cut)

a heat wave, a parade, and several thousand ladybugs. i can see all of it coming from up here.

issue 10: queer drive-in horror + horny sailors (extended cut)

clowns are gathering at laurelhurst park and the sailors are on shore leave. june is fully unhinged. scroll down.

issue 09: goth prom + your dog finds love (extended cut)

the mouth incident was astrologically justified. aunt svetty explains. open up.

issue 08: tie-dyed toilet paper + 800 tons of rock (travel cut)

janet is getting out of town. so should you. bus, train, or car. just go somewhere, tiny.

issue 07: bee girls + chain forging by moonlight (extended cut)

portland cracked open tuesday night. i heard it from up here. your tiny ears can handle it.

issue 06: your mother + circus angels making sandwiches (extended cut)

you waded into the willamette to cool off. i watched. come find something better to do this weekend.

issue 05: dead squirrels + darkwave basements (extended cut)

aunt svetty blames the stars for your empty wallet, but the underground provides.

issue 04: wrestling gauntlets + macabre capitalism (extended cut)

i am observing you little freaks from the stratosphere. stomp your feet.