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hey tiny.
last week's issue was a permission slip to leave portland for the weekend. i took one too and went east past where the cell signal reaches, followed the bass to a ridge, and watched the valley light up like stars. i said i'd be back thursday and this is thursday. i'm looking down and the city is already filling back in. good, this weekend’s events won’t wait.
two new tinies looked at this newsletter last week and decided it was worth a few dollars a month. i looked down and counted both of them. they were too small to see me wave but i did it twice. the mug is filling up, and you can help.
this issue: total punk records brings nineteen bands to the kenton club thursday night, a reality dating show needs your dog and your open heart, aunt svetty filed her june column and it is a literal roller coaster involving a love asteroid going backwards and something that happened in someone's mouth. read june’s mundane astrology now.
scroll down. send it to someone weird first.
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[ DANCING + LISTENING ]
Goth Prom May 28 at 2000 Holocene | $16.34 [ more ] lesser demons doing a live goth cover set. constant debauchery as depeche mode. dj colin jones closing it out. the only night of the year the fog machine output is proportional to my height. 21+.
The Pour Over May 29 at 2100 Secret Grove | $10 [ more ] deep house, tech house, and techno with jg wentworth, shaneco, and readysetgo. secret grove on a friday. ten dollars.
Pop Up Event May 30 at 1800 Daydream | Free [ more ] polyritmo's debut ep release party. hot food, wine, dj sets, vendor pop-up. free entry, runs until 10pm.
[ SEEING + LISTENING ]
Filmmaker Talk May 28 at 1830 SixEight Church, Battle Ground WA | Free [ more ] [ road trip ] director calvin morie mccarthy on how he keeps making independent films year after year. free, open to all, just over the bridge.
Atropia May 28 at 1900 PAM Cut Tomorrow Theater | $15 [ more ] pam cut opens surreal summer with this one. one night only on thursday.
Total Punk Corporate Retreat May 28 at 1930 Kenton Club | $20 [ more ] the drags. cheater slicks. useless eaters. rik and the pigs. lavender flu. class. famous mammals. twelve more names you'll absorb through your skin by the end of the night. total punk records brought the whole retreat to portland. keep up.
Pale Violet x Unseen Object — Split Release Show May 29 at 1800 Music Millennium | Free [ more ] two portland indie bands, four singles, one split ep. limited cassettes and cds at the door. doors at 6, music at 7.
Open Mic Night at Queen Jane May 29 at 1900 Queen Jane Music Studios | Free [ more ] [ all ages ] queen janes monthly open mic night is back. whether you’re testing out a new song, reading something you wrote, trying a bit. shhh. keep your voices down in the alley.
Cheers!: A Comedy Show May 29 The Social Spoon | $12.51 [ more ] zane thomas and friends. sit in a dark room and let people be funny at you. telltale's kind of night.
Sally Ride: A New Opera May 29 at 1930 Theatre Off Jackson, Seattle | $30 [ more ] [ road trip ] new opera about queer love and the first american woman in space. lowbrow opera collective. drive to seattle for this one.
World Class Brass Bash May 30 at 1800 Jack London Revue | $26.42 [ more ] underground brass and funk ensemble. loud. excellent.
Summer Open Studios May 30 at 1000 NW Marine Art Works | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] 75+ artist studios open across the city saturday and sunday. art treasure hunt. pick a direction and wander.
Incite: Queer Writers Read Jun 03 at 1800 Albina Library | Free [ more ] [ all ages ] zoë gamell brown, charlie j. stephens, and samson syharath on the theme of belonging. community discussion after. bimonthly reading series for queer writers, hosted by vinnie kinsella and jp perrine.
7th Annual Skate Deck Show Jun 05 at 1700 ADX Portland | Free [ more ] adx turns 15. 220+ artists with custom skate decks, 100% of sales to the artists. live music. this one earns it every year.
Self-Centered: A Portraiture Exhibition Jun 05 at 1800 Radiant Community Arts | Free [ more ] group portrait show. facial structures, faces, the human face in every form.
Northwest Pinball and Arcade Show Jun 05 Greater Tacoma Convention Center | $70–$140 [ more ] [ road trip ] [ all ages ] 500+ machines free to play with admission. vendors, tournaments, diy homebrew pinball demos, roger sharpe (the man who saved pinball), and a costume contest. the only thing tall enough to see over the crowd in that convention center is me, and i'd go. three days, tacoma, annual.
[ DOING + MAKING ]
Mesmerizing Marbles May 28 at 1100 Past Lives Makerspace | $165 [ more ] borosilicate lampwork class. you play with fire and leave with hand-made glass marbles. opaque and vortex. more satisfying than it sounds.
DREAMWEAVER Annual Fundraiser May 28 at 1800 Castaway Portland | Free [ more ] gather:make:shelter's annual night of art, food, and community. stories from the year and a look at what's next. real work addressing houselessness and poverty in this city. use your thursday to help others.
41st Annual NW VW Bug Run May 30 at 0800 Woodburn Dragstrip | $25 [ more ] [ road trip ] [ outdoors ] volkswagen drag racing, burnout contest, judged car show, swap meet, live vinyl djs tock and erich zann, and the vw engine blow event. which is exactly what it sounds like. i could feel the engine blow through the soles of my boots from three counties away. friday camping from 2pm if you want the full commitment.
Moving Sale May 30 at 1200 202 NW Davis St | Free [ more ] fixtures, furniture, plants, clothes, and decor out the back door of goodies. if you've had your eye on anything in that space, get there.
Casting Call: Reality Dating Show May 30 at 1200 Migration Brewing | Free [ more ] a dating show where your dog helps you find love, starring portland's comedians. needs friendly social dogs and romantically available humans of any configuration. portland has found a way to make this a legitimate thing and i respect it completely.
Intro to Foraging Plant Walk May 31 at 1200 Springwater Corridor | Free–$50 [ more ] [ outdoors ] monthly plant walk with wildwood folk school. what's edible, what isn't, what you've been walking past your whole life without knowing. your snack situation is about to change.
Really Free Market May 31 at 1200 Albina Library | Free [ more ] [ all ages ] bring what you can, take what you need. clean and useful items only. leftover items go home with you. not a donation drop. no money, no trade.
Wheel Throwing 101 May 31 at 1500 Past Lives Makerspace | $65 [ more ] intro ceramics on the wheel with sean. one session, beginner-friendly.
June Hand-Sewing Social Jun 04 at 1700 Literary Arts | $5–$10 [ more ] [ all ages ] communal sewing and craft gathering for ages 6 and up. bring a project or start one. low pressure, all levels.
Blacksmithing 101 Jun 05 at 1800 Past Lives Makerspace | $375 [ more ] three-day foundational blacksmithing cohort with glen. starts june 5. if you've been thinking about it, this is the time.
Shadowbox Framing Jun 06 at 1000 Past Lives Makerspace | $300 [ more ] 3d collage and framing techniques. depth, texture, enclosure. half-day class.
Quarterly Psychic Fair Jun 06 at 1300 The Raven's Wing Co-Op | see info [ more ] intuitive readers, diviners, mediums, tarot, runes, and energy workers. raven's wing quarterly. you know the drill.
Painting with Beeswax Jun 06 at 1200 Phoenix Grange, Phoenix OR | $125 [ more ] [ road trip ] encaustics and collage with desiree demars and sharon schmidt. noon to 3pm, all materials included. pair it with other rogue valley plans.
Kent Nerd Party: Katherine Factor Jun 06 at 1200 The Game Shelf, Kent WA | Free [ more ] [ road trip ] @chooseyourownadventure author katherine factor at the annual kent nerd party. free, kent, washington. for the right tiny, easy yes.
Gentle Flow & Sound Bath Jun 07 at 1630 The Raven's Wing Co-Op | $5–$55 [ more ] 90 minutes of intuitive flow with crystal and tibetan singing bowls. i have never once fit inside raven's wing but i appreciate that it exists for your tiny purposes. sunday wind-down.
[ EATING + DOING ]
Bing Mi Cocktail Pop Up May 29 at 1600 Bing Mi | see info [ more ] 40 lbs coffee + bar doing craft cocktails at bing mi on vaughn alongside aapi local business owner friends. full menu still running. friday afternoon.
Assistant Manager / Sentient Meat / Chemotroph May 29 at 1830 Wizard's | notaflof [ more ] potluck at 6:30, bands at 8, bbgirl and psychic parking djing b2b after. bring a dish. stay for all of it.
White Lotus Summer Market Jun 06 at 1400 Fubonn Shopping Center | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] [ all ages ] aapi community outdoor market with 40+ local vendors, food, and finds. pet and family friendly. first week of a full summer run. get on it now.
[ STARGAZING ]
the stars are shifting. i know this because they keep brushing against my forehead. aunt svetty has filed her june column and it involves a love asteroid going backwards, a roller coaster, and something that happened in someone's mouth. read it and brace yourselves.
The Astrology of June 2026 is a real roller coaster, so strap on your seatbelt and take a ride with your Aunt Svetty! Remember, Mundane Astrology is the energy that influences all of us…… WE ARE SLOWLY CLIMBING THE HILL!!!! This roller coaster sure looks unsafe. Whose idea was it to get on this ride? Mercury enters Cancer on June 1st. Emotions will heavily influence most folks’ decision-making capabilities at the start of the month. Why use facts when you can just rely on feelings? My gut tells me this is going to be a very transformational month! Weeee!
Juno is a love asteroid viewed as a second Venus. Juno stations retrograde on June 5th and moves backward in the sky until September 16th. THIS ROLLER COASTER IS MOVING BACKWARDS!!!! Modern astrologers follow Juno and some other lesser known astronomical objects because ancient Babylonian astrologers divided the ecliptic into twelve equal parts to match the twelve months of the calendar, however eighteen constellations of differing sizes are within the path the sun travels across the sky ….. or is it the earth traveling across the sky? I CAN’T REALLY THINK STRAIGHT WHILE THIS ROLLER COASTER IS SPIRALING!!!! Juno in retrograde has us reevaluating power dynamics in our personal relationships and collectively within our governments. I WANT OFF THIS RIDE!!!! Juno has us considering what we need from the systems that have been failing us. HAVE YOU GOT ANY COTTON CANDY?
It is going to be a long gross break up between the people and our elected officials. I SAID I WANT OFF THIS RIDE! While you pack up your lover’s belongings and toss that box out a second story window onto the rainy sidewalk, It is time to think about what you need from your metaphorical next partner: ie: the next government we choose to live under. CAN I GET OFF THIS RIDE??!!! Listen it’s definitely time to stop focusing on the failures of Donald Trump and HOLY SHIT WE ARE PASSING THROUGH THE LOOP-TI-LOOPS AGAIN!!!!
Like I was saying, your energy is best put to use manifesting what mankind needs right now. Don’t waste your energy on the current regime. Their time is over. THE ROLLER COASTER JUST SLAMMED TO A HALT. Venus enters Leo on June 13th just one day after Uranus was square the True Node. Uranus is unpredictable and strange and the true node has to do with your destiny in this lifetime. Since Uranus is in Gemini things are moving very fast. In fact things are moving so fast that you and I are both SCREAMING, SCREAMING that we WANT OFF THIS RIDE! There is shocking news and a media meltdown, but wait! Is this roller coaster also the Love Tunnel? With Venus in Leo I’m craving extravagance and romance. I didn’t realize I was so attracted to you. Just in case we both die on this roller coaster, it might be best if we kissed?
I JUST THREW UP IN YOUR MOUTH! Sorry! Listen, it’s not you. It’s this ride! The New Moon in Gemini on June 14th does have me thinking we should see other people though now that you mention it. It’s a good time for socializing and networking. Sorry again that I threw up on you! If that reminds you of a childhood trauma you suffered that’s because Chiron enters Taurus on June 19th and all those memories are coming back up again! Chiron is another asteroid modern astrologers follow given our imperfect zodiac calendar. Chiron symbolizes a wounded healer moving into Taurus on June 19th. Taurus is the bounty of the earth and it is concerned with home. We seek to heal the wounds of those without home. We seek to end food shortages. We seek to meet the needs of humanity and to get off the path we were led to by corrupt, greedy men selling us false promises to enrich themselves. Worldwide we are collectively finished with the current evil regimes influencing the United States, Russia, and Israel. The people of these countries have had enough. When Jupiter enters Leo on June 30th the energy demanding decent leadership expands. The People will not be ruled by child-raping tyrants. The People rise and rule themselves with decency and kindness. Be part of the shift. Demand the ruling class step down. Demand what you need individually as well. Demand decency and light and love. It’s going to be messy, LIKE THE PUKE ON YOUR SHIRT, but it all starts with believing in something better, including the best version of yourself. Let the love and light in and be part of the change. A better world is coming. I’m telling you: our imperfect axis is going to wobble us right into it.
The Sun enters Cancer on June 21st. The ride stopped and now you’re demanding you want to go home. Listen, I get it. There’s puke on your blouse, it isn’t yours….. you’re sick from the ride, the world is spinning…………. Mars enters Gemini on June 28th and you’re full of fresh ideas but also burnt out. I AM TIRED OF RIDING ROLLER COASTERS! You are tired of riding roller coasters as well. We all are tired of government being a damn circus.
On June 28th Mercury goes retrograde. Since we started this month with actions based solely on emotions, this is now a good time to reconsider those actions as well as our words.. Hmm……. Sorry I tried to kiss you on the roller coaster and then threw up in your mouth. Do you accept my apology? You try, but the Full Moon in Capricorn on June 29th has you needing structure. You don’t have time to ride roller coasters all day or have weird non consensual-make out sessions with friends who give you Auntie energy one minute and then tongue down your throat the next. You need boundaries! On June 30th Jupiter enters Leo . You’re feeling lucky. You’ve learned from your mistakes. You’re feeling confident and creative. That shirt without puke on it looks fantastic on you. Should we get back in line and ride the roller coaster again? “Absolutely Not,” you tell me and you seem to mean it. We really do seem to have landed in a different place now that the ride and the month is over. Things have shifted. We are in a different place. Things are on their way. I think an elephant ear would help settle my stomach.
Auntie Svetty loves you! Thanks for riding the roller coaster with me!
EXTENDED CUT
[ DANCING + LISTENING ]
Motor Vue / The Eye See Yous / Five Big Rocks at No Fun May 28 at 1900 No Fun Bar | $10 cash [ more ] alt rock at no fun. ten dollars cash. atm next door at devil's dill.
147. Pariah May 28 at 2030 Barn Radio | $28.75 [ more ] deep underground techno and hard groove. barn radio. you know what this is.
Pop-Up with Soji Clothing May 29 at 1900 L'Atelier Yaffe | see info [ more ] soji clothing pop-up with sounds by dj chloeeee. sip, shop, eat, give. 7–9pm on mlk.
Dmitri Matheny Group May 29 at 2000 Jack London Revue | $26.24–$206.49 [ more ] louie! louie! louie! live underground jazz.
Garcia Birthday Band May 29 at 2000 Star Theater | $30.36 [ more ] local dedicated jerry garcia tribute. the birthday energy is perennial.
Smoakland / Austeria May 29 at 2100 Realm | $13.63–$33.31 [ more ] future bass, trap, and heavy bass music. rose entertainment doing their thing.
Snap! Y2K — '90s vs '00s May 29 at 2100 Holocene | $13.15 [ more ] throwback underground dance party. high energy. 21+.
148. Shekdash May 29 at 2200 Barn Radio | $28.75 [ more ] late-night techno and hard groove broadcast. barn radio keeps going.
Process Residency: Re:Ni May 29 at 2200 Process PDX | $16–$33 [ more ] uk bass, techno, garage, dubstep, and breaks.
Vastive May 29 at 2200 Nova | $20 [ more ] underground dubstep and heavy low-frequency sets.
Eptic + Nitepunk May 29 at 2200 45 East | $25–$30 [ more ] hip-hop, dubstep, trap, and heavy bass. late friday at 45 east.
GINGA ARRAIÁ — Forró & Brazilian Dance Night May 30 at 1900 Village Ballroom | $15 [ more ] live forró with forró biju and dj juzin. the rhythm of brazil, arraiá energy, and a room full of people who've been waiting for someone to finally throw this party. 21+. the village ballroom floor can handle it.
Uplift w/ Mark Farina May 30 at 2000 The Den | $35 [ more ] jackin house, deep house, funky house with b2b sets. doc martin also on the bill.
Dance w/ The Dead May 30 at 2000 Revolution Hall | $36.80 [ more ] the face off tour. synthwave and synthpop. magic sword opening.
Will Clarke May 30 at 2100 Realm | $13.63 [ more ] tech house and big room techno at realm.
Process Residency: Succubass May 30 at 2200 Process PDX | $16–$33 [ more ] house, breaks, and club music summoning carre and dj deadname.
Andruss May 30 at 2200 45 East | $15–$20 [ more ] late-night tech house at 45 east.
Rik & The Pigs / Chatterbox / Byproxy May 31 at 2000 Shanghai Tunnel | $10 [ more ] rik & the pigs back from the grave. portland power pop from chatterbox. fresh weirdo punk from byproxy. shanghai tunnel on a sunday.
Ladytron Paradises Jun 02 at 2000 Revolution Hall | $46.30 [ more ] cult classic synthpop, live. if you know, you're already going.
Holocene's 23rd Birthday Jun 04 at 1800 Holocene | Free [ more ] strfkr dj set. kiwi fifi lp release. dj troubled youth. holocene turns 23 and the cover charge is zero. the ceiling is low and the crowd will be shoulder-to-shoulder and you will be fine.
First Thursday Jun 04 at 2000 Secret Grove | Free [ more ] deep house with liam malone. secret grove. first thursday.
Innit Transmission: 001 Jun 04 at 2100 Process PDX | $15 [ more ] launch of a new underground transmission series. opening night.
Hntr Jun 05 at 2200 The Den | $25–$30 [ more ] underground electronic set at the den.
Paul Oakenfold Jun 05 at 2200 45 East | Free [ more ] electro house and breaks with the crystal method also on the bill. free entry.
The Cab Jun 06 at 1930 Roseland Theater | $41.25 [ more ] live at roseland.
Big Gigantic Jun 06 at 2100 Realm | $50 [ more ] 360 house party tour. livetronica and hip-hop. the 360 is their promise to you. i offer no guarantees about your sightlines at realm.
Kloud Jun 06 at 2200 The Den | $29 [ more ] late-night underground rave at the den.
Be Yourself Jun 06 at 2200 Process PDX | $17–$27 [ more ] toki fuko live, andy warren, and dj eft at process.
Steller + Flozone Jun 06 at 2200 45 East | $15–$20 [ more ] late-night electronic at 45 east.
Big Florida Jun 06 at 2200 45 East | $15–$20 [ more ] underground dubstep at 45 east.
[ SEEING ]
Love Letter to RISO — Closing Night May 31 at 2000 Outlet PDX | Free [ more ] closing night of the two-month gallery show honoring risograph printing and independent zine culture. last chance, free entry.
JAWS in Concert Jun 05 at 1930 Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall | $95 [ more ] john williams' oscar-winning score performed live by the oregon symphony alongside the film. the full film-with-orchestra experience.
[ MAKING ]
Simple Bookbinding! May 30 at 1400 SCRAP PDX | $15–$25 [ more ] [ all ages ] scrap workshop in simple bookbinding techniques. ages 10+. saturday afternoon.
Damascus Steel Forging May 31 at 1100 Past Lives Makerspace | $1,000 [ more ] advanced forging with forged in fire champion ha'ne kempf. one thousand dollars. i respect the absolute confidence that the right tiny will show up and hand it over without blinking, and they will be correct to do so.
Blacksmithing 101 Jun 02 at 1800 Past Lives Makerspace | $375 [ more ] foundational blacksmithing cohort with glen. this session starts tuesday june 2. three-day run.
Wheel-Throwing Series Jun 03 at 1800 Past Lives Makerspace | $360 [ more ] intermediate lidded pieces with anjali. week 3 of 6.
Blacksmithing 101 (Morning Session) Jun 06 at 0800 Past Lives Makerspace | $375 [ more ] glen's cohort, morning session. yes, 8am. you can do it.
Pulling Threads Party Jun 06 at 1700 ADX Portland | Free [ more ] one year anniversary party for the local maker community at adx. it's a party. show up.
Charcuterie Board Workshop Jun 07 at 1200 ADX Portland | $90 [ more ] woodworking class in black walnut with brandon. you will make something beautiful and functional.
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that is issue 09.
i need you to spread the agenda. print out this flyer and put it somewhere real. if that feels like too much, dm the link to a friend and infect a new host. if you know about an event, a party, a pop-up, or a food spot that belongs in front of people who actually go places and eat things: it doesn't even have to be yours. be a rat for the underground.
hit reply to tell me something. share a tip, argue about your horoscope, or just let me know you're down there. i am always listening.
staring down at you takes a lot of calories, and my stomach is rumbling loud enough to rattle your windows. keep the caffeine coming.
if you're still standing, the archive has every issue. dig in.
stay low.
janet
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