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hey tiny.
the cascades still have snow on their shoulders and the valley is turning that specific shade of green that only happens in may. i can see all of it from my altitude. you live somewhere genuinely remarkable. think about that for a second before you scroll.
eight tinies have bought me a coffee since tunnel vision started. eight. i counted you individually from up here. the giant mug is moving and the transmission stays on because of it. if you want to be number nine, you know what to do.
this issue is about getting out. memorial day weekend is blowing the region wide open. somewhere in brownsville sits a building made of 800 tons of rock packed with translucent stone dioramas that almost nobody knows exists. that is why i am up here broadcasting. there are quiet cemeteries, dawn hot springs, and four-day farmers markets with hot breakfasts waiting for you. go somewhere. be with other tinies. remember something.
no extended cut this week. check the archive for issue 07 if you need your local portland fix.
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[ STAYING PUT ]
portland, or: no car required
Rocky Butte Fortress May 23 at 20:30 Rocky Butte | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] a wpa-built stone crown that sits above the city. i can rest my chin on the arches and watch you tinies wander the slightly cursed grounds. go at dusk, bring a drink, and feel like you own the place.
Smith and Bybee Wetlands Daily Sunrise to Sunset Columbia Slough Paddling Center | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] wedged between a highway and a landfill is a watery refuge. grab a tiny kayak and watch the herons and eagles operate like they run things. i will watch from above so my boots do not crush your canoe.
Lone Fir Women's Tour May 23 at 10:00 Lone Fir Cemetery | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] historically strange and way less emotionally exhausting than a forest park traffic jam. nobody is running a 10k through this dirt. tread lightly over the graves, tinies. i can read the headstones without squatting down.
Powell Butte Daily 05:00 to 22:00 Powell Butte Nature Park | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] the east side cousin where people forget to go. actual solitude on a holiday weekend with views of four peaks right at my eye level. hide out in the meadow and enjoy the quiet.
Community Tarot Circle May 23 at 19:00 Seagrape Apothecary | [ more ] huddle up in the shop and manifest abundance with your little cards. i cannot fit through the door but i can feel the spellcraft energy vibrating through the roof. go do some magic.
Columbia Slough: three ways in:
Sunset Forest Bathing + Yoga May 22 at 18:40 Columbia Children's Arboretum | [ more ] [ outdoors ] for feminine identifying and non-binary folks. trees and intention and good light.
Paddle Team Buddy Shift May 23 at 10:00 Whitaker Ponds | [ more ] [ outdoors ] slow water, egrets, chain link fences. a city secret that was always right there. i have to be careful not to step on the kayaks.
Tree Equity Walk: Eliot to Irvington May 26 at 18:00 Matt Dishman Community Center | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] learn something and look at trees.
[ TAKING THE BUS ]
THE GORGE
gateway transit center to cascade locks. no car, no parking permit, no explaining yourself.
Columbia Gorge Express Check the schedule Gateway Transit Center | [ more ] [ outdoors ] skip the parking nightmare and let the bus deposit you directly into the gorge. hike angel's rest or latourell falls, then ride into cascade locks and grab a drink at thunder island brewing. i have tested the structural integrity of that bridge from above. it holds.
JDRE Free Creative Play May 23 at 10:00 Fruit Loops Art Center, Hood River | Free [ more ] [ all ages ] take the bus out to hood river and let the little tinies do some free creative play. the orchards are coming in.
Hood River Farmers Market May 23 at 09:00 5th and Columbia, Hood River | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] stock up on local produce while you wander hood river. pfriem family brewers is a safe bet for a drink when your tiny legs give out.
Goldendale Local Market May 23 at 09:00 903 E Broadway, Goldendale WA | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] head across the river into washington for fewer people and more produce. i can see the crowds from up here. this is the smart move.
SAUVIE ISLAND
bus 17 from st johns. infrequent, worth it, a test of character.
Sauvie Island Adventure May 22-25 Sauvie Island | $10 Parking Permit [ outdoors ] [ all ages ] take bus 17 to sauvie island. it is infrequent. it is an adventure. the tinies who take the bus instead of driving are people of genuine character and i respect them from up here. walton beach is open and walton beach is enough. collins beach is nearby if you want to be naked. the warrior rock lighthouse trail is seven miles of flat river light and bald eagles if you still have legs. if you drive you need a ten dollar parking permit and you get to spend your afternoon watching hundreds of angry tinies fight over a single patch of dust.
THE COAST
two options depending on your commitment level.
NorthWest Point Check the schedule Downtown Portland | [ more ] two buses run daily to astoria, cannon beach, and seaside. tickets through amtrak. if you drive out there on a holiday weekend, you will deserve everything that happens to you while looking for a parking spot.
North Coast Express Check the schedule Sunset Transit Center, Beaverton | [ more ] ran memorial day through august last year on fridays through sundays. astoria, seaside, cannon beach, rockaway beach, and tillamook. anticipated to return for 2026 but not yet confirmed. check the link before you plan around it.
[ TAKING THE TRAIN ]
EUGENE
willamette valley: the cascades south, wine country, drum circles, and the oldest crafts market in the country.
Eugene Saturday Market May 23 at 10:00 Park Blocks, Eugene | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] the oldest crafts market in the states, complete with tie-dyed toilet paper and a drum circle. i find it all deeply charming from my altitude.
Lane County Farmers Market May 23 at 09:00 8th between Oak and Pearl, Eugene | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] runs right across the street on saturdays and again on tuesday may 26. buy some produce and act like you actually live there.
Mount Pisgah Insect Tour | May 24 at 1000 | Mount Pisgah Arboretum | $5 [ more ] [ ~ outdoors ~ ] karen richards leads a mini safari into the world of insects. adaptations, lesser-known species, and the kind of close looking that makes you realize you have been missing entire civilizations underfoot. i can see the arboretum from up here and it is teeming. limited to 18 tinies so move fast.
heaVin Estate Memorial Day Pour May 22-24 at 12:00 heaVin Estate, Aumsville | [ more ] the aumsville estate opens its doors. drink wine in a field because it is better than whatever your other tiny plans were.
Willamette Valley Vineyards Tasting May 23-25 at 12:00 Willamette Valley Vineyards, Turner | $30 | [ more ] pouring chardonnay in turner all weekend. i can feel the vibration of the corks popping through the soles of my boots.
OLYMPIA
washington state capital that belongs to the artists. there is a free artesian well downtown and nobody talks about it.
Olympia Farmers Market May 21–25 at 10:00 Olympia Farmers Market | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] four straight days of hot breakfast and live music. the market runs thursday through sunday and i can hear it from the sound.
Washington State Parks Free Day May 25 Washington State Parks | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] free admission monday. go disappear into the woods for a while.
SEATTLE
cascades north: the whole city opens up for memorial day weekend
Northwest Folklife Festival May 22–25 Seattle Center | Free (donations welcome) [ more ] [ all ages ] the 55th annual celebration. hundreds of performances, food vendors, and people being genuinely good to each other. the space needle looks like a tiny toy from where i am standing.
Sync Seattle Beach Bash | May 24 at 1500 | Golden Gardens Park | Free [ more ] [ ~ outdoors ~ ] [ roadtrip ] sync seattle is taking over the beach for a massive bbq with a full food spread, drinks, and a local vendor market. dj twilight is spinning and the spades tournament will be ruthless. i can see the smoke from the grills all the way from portland. 21 and over only, tinies.
Pike Place Market May 22–25 at 09:00 Pike Place Market | Free [ more ] extended holiday hours and flower vendors at full strength. the colors are bright enough for even me to notice.
[ DRIVING ]
ASTORIA
the most itself town in oregon: victorian houses on hills, fort george, the column, and a subterranean mall with giant octopus tentacles
Astoria Column Mural Talk May 21 at 19:00 Fort George Lovell Showroom | Free [ more ] a talk about restoring the murals at the column. go for the history and stay for the beer. i can rest my elbow on the top of the column and watch you tinies from above.
Carving Club May 21 at 09:00 Barbey Maritime Center | Free [ more ] not an atelier. just a woodshop with twelve tinies making things out of wood. i cannot fit through the door but i can hear the chisels.
Astoria Sunday Market May 24 at 10:00 12th Street, Astoria | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] the market spills out onto the street. i can see the white tents like little salt grains from up here. go find something local.
Downtown Historic Walking Tour May 24 at 11:00 Astoria Nordic Heritage Park | $10 [ more ] [ outdoors ] ninety minutes of wandering through the hills. my one step covers the whole tour, but you tinies should take the long way and look at the houses.
Maritime Memorial Service May 25 at 15:00 Maritime Memorial Park, Astoria Waterfront | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] stand under the bridge and listen to the names being read. i will keep the river wind down so your tiny ears can hear.
CANNON BEACH
it will be crowded. go anyway.
Rare and Old Book Sale May 22–25 at 10:00 Cannon Beach Library | Free [ more ] four days of rare finds and old paper. keep the sea air off the bindings and find something strange to read.
Haystack Rock Cannon Beach | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] [ all ages ] volunteer naturalists are out at low tide all weekend pointing out tufted puffins and sea stars. i can see the rock from up here and it is genuinely impressive even at my scale. check the tide chart before you go.
Spring Unveiling Art Festival May 22–25 Cannon Beach Galleries | Free [ more ] galleries are at full strength all weekend. i will watch the crowds from the ridgeline while you tinies look at the frames.
Memorial Bridge Ceremony May 25 at 11:00 Fir Street Bridge over Ecola Creek | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] stand on the bridge over ecola creek and remember. i will be the giant shadow in the distance keeping watch.
THE VALLEY
brownsville and the north santiam: drive south and slow down.
Living Rock Studios May 22–23 at 10:00 Living Rock Studios, Brownsville | Free [ more ] 800 tons of local rock and translucent dioramas. i once leaned down to look through the skylight and fogged up the glass. pure outsider art. open wednesday through saturday.
Bagby Hot Springs May 26 Bagby Hot Springs, Mt Hood National Forest | [ more ] [ outdoors ] cedar log tubs in an ancient forest. skip the weekend crowds and go when it is quiet so i do not accidentally step on your car in the parking lot.
MAUPIN + THE DESCHUTES
dry canyon, river light, and a good reason to drive east.
TroutFest May 29–31 Maupin, OR | [ more ] [ outdoors ] dutch oven contests and casting in the canyon. the air is dry and spare. i can see the smoke from the cook-off from three counties away.
Rave on the River May 29–30 at 20:00 Deschutes River | see info [ more ] the right people found the right stretch of water. i can feel the heavy bass vibrating through the canyon walls and into my boots.
VERNONIA + BANKS
a slow bike day with ferns and one good sandwich
Banks-Vernonia State Trail | May 23 at 0800 | Banks To Vernonia | Free [ more ] [ outdoors ] a converted rail line through coast range foothills. twenty-one miles of ferns and quiet and one good hill. bring a tiny bike or just walk until you feel like a different person. nobody is racing. there is no event. that is the point. i can trace the path through the trees with my finger from up here.
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that’s more than enough for this week. as you head out of town, tape this to a telephone pole, a coffee shop bulletin board, a stranger's back. whatever surface will hold it. if you find something worth submitting: an event, a drive, a food spot that doesn't have a publicist. send it in.
i am up here burning through fuel watching you tinies discover the pnw one long weekend at a time. i am building a full calendar of portland's recurring underground. the weekly rituals, the monthly fixtures, the things that happen in the same room every third thursday and never get written down anywhere. the tinies who keep the mug full get it first, join them.
i’m headed out of town too, tiny. east of where the cell signal goes thin. i follow the bass and look for the lights from the ridge. i will be back thursday. more in the archive when you are ready.
stay low.
janet
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