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hey tiny.
i watched a bunch of you trying to survive sunday's heat by wading into the willamette. seeing you all desperately needing to cool off in that murky river in early may is deeply troubling from up here.
a low rumble of appreciation goes out to the generous tinies who sent kind words and dropped something in the mug in april. you are keeping the grid online. keep the caffeine coming.
this issue: mother's day weekend brings the usual crowds, but also circus angels making sandwiches, pure cyberpunk noise, and wind blowing in your face while you watch twister.
scroll down. forward it to a friend first.
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[LISTENING + DANCING ]
Major Mel & Sanjo | May 08 at 2100 | Afterlife | Free | [ more ] djs spinning pure vinyl. hip hop, funk, soul, and electro. tap your tiny feet on the floor.
Lost Vortex A Cyber Punk Night At Azoth | May 09 at 1830 | Azoth | $15-20 | [ more ] cyberpunk night with live art. dark, loud, and overstimulating. exactly how we like it.
Blonde Aid: Dance For Democracy | May 16 at 1900 | Alberta Abbey | $20.00 | [ more ] [ + all ages ] dance to support the portland immigrant rights coalition. open your wallets and move your bodies, tinies.
17th Annual St. Johns Bizarre | May 09 at 1000 | St. Johns | Free | [ more ] [ + all ages ] street fair with a beer garden and live music. dodge the crowds and drink an ipa.
Eurodisco! Music Education | May 09 at 1330 | The Riff At B-Side | Free | [ more ] a deep dive into the history of eurodisco and giorgio moroder. educate yourselves.
Andy Stott (Live) | May 14 at 2000 | Holocene | $31.84 | [ more ] andy stott live. heavy electronic bass that will rattle your tiny ribs.
William Temple House Jam! | May 09 at 1400 | The Castle | $7-$15 | [ more ] [ + all ages ] mental health awareness benefit concert. good music for a good cause.
Patio Sessions | May 09 at 1700 | Twilight Room | Free | [ more ] live music on a patio. sit outside and listen.
Talks On The Rocks: Generational Communication | May 11 at 1600 | Pomalo | [ more ] lectures and drinks. figure out how to talk to each other while slightly buzzed.
Low-Fi Beat Soirée | May 12 at 1700 | Nedspace | Free | [ more ] downtempo beats on the 8th floor of a downtown building. stretch out and look at the city.
Swank | May 13 at 1900 | Advice Booth | Free | [ more ] all-vinyl lounge night. downtempo trip hop for making out in dark corners.
Birds Of Bad Decisions | May 15 at 2000 | Mcmenamins Hotel Oregon | [ more ] [ + all ages ] ufo festival music. stare at the sky and wait for abduction.
Black Water 16th Bi-Annual Record Fair | May 16 at 1200 | Black Water | Free | [ more ] loud metal and rare punk records. dig through the crates.
Spill It Open Mic | May 12 | Great Notion NW | [ more ] sit in a dark room and listen to strangers tell stories.
Cinemalesque: A Burlesque Tribute To Film | May 15 at 2000 | Alberta Rose Theatre | $37.00 | [ more ] film-themed burlesque. people taking their clothes off to cinema classics.
[ DOING + SEEING ]
Heaven's Kitchen | May 08 at 2130 | Curious Comedy Theater | $20.00 | [ more ] [ + all ages ] circus performers dressed as angels making sandwiches. i could step on them but i will watch instead.
Cats Gone Coastal! | May 09 at 1000 | Seaside Convention Center | [ more ] [ + all ages ] [ roadtrip ] a massive cat show on the coast. look at fluffy felines and reconsider your life choices.
Train Day @ Oregon Rail Heritage Center | May 09 at 1000 | 2250 Se Water St | Free | [ more ] [ + all ages ] it is a day about trains. look at the heavy metal machines.
61st Annual St. Johns Parade | May 09 at 1200 | St. Johns | Free | [ more ] [ + all ages ] a community parade that has been happening since 1963. stand on the sidewalk and watch them walk.
Twister: Cinewhimsy — An Immersive 4D Extravaganza | May 09 at 1800 | Tomorrow Theater | [ more ] watching the movie twister with wind blowing in your tiny faces. flying cows included.
Kurt Russell Lookalike Contest | May 09 at 2100 | Dot's Cafe | Free | [ more ] a room full of kurt russell lookalikes competing for a hundred bucks. pure chaos.
Curiosities Mercantile At Flux | May 16 at 1100 | Flux Event Center | Free | [ more ] indoor market with vintage goods and local makers. acquire strange items.
Guided Forest Bathing | May 10 at 0900 | Hoyt Arboretum | $30.00 | [ more ] [ ~ outdoors ~ ] walk slowly through the trees and pretend you aren't stressed.
[ EATING + MAKING ]
Spring Indigenous Marketplace | May 09 at 1000 | 800 Se 10Th Ave | Free | [ more ] [ + all ages ] indigenous vendors and makers selling their work. buy something real.
Woodlawn Farmers Market Indoor Edition | May 09 at 1100 | Inside Classic Foods | Free | [ more ] sourdough, beef, and coffee indoors. buy your groceries and go home.
Seattle Art Book Fair | May 09 at 1100 | Washington Hall | Free | [ more ] [ roadtrip ] a massive gathering for independent publishing. leave the city and look at the paper.
Baerlic Spring Market | May 09 at 1100 | Baerlic Beer Co | Free | [ more ] [ + all ages ] candles, soap, and beer under one roof. pure portland survival kit.
Elephants On Cedar Hills Street Fair | May 09 at 1700 | 2975 Sw Cedar Hills Blvd | Free | [ more ] [ + all ages ] a street fair with food. eat outside and keep moving.
Sunday Drivers | May 17 at 0800 | Pal's | Free | [ more ] morning meetup for car people. drink coffee and stare at engines.
Growing Beats Portland | May 13 at 1800 | Replicant Beer & Wine | Free | [ more ] producers sharing beats and drinking wine. sample flips and tape releases.
Be Heard - An Open Mic For Women's Voices | May 13 at 1900 | Artichoke Music | $5 suggested | [ more ] women making music and poetry. stand up and be loud.
Artist Call: Portland Creatives | May 15 | Hawthorne Theatre | [ more ] pancakes, alcohol, and art sales. submit your work or just show up to consume.
Adult Craft Camp: A Creative Weekend Escape | May 16 at 1000 | Ar Workshop Hillsboro | [ more ] two days of uninterrupted making things with your tiny hands.
[ SHOUTOUT ]
Call For Volunteers: Cascadia Fine Arts Festival | May 16 & 17 | Downtown Troutdale | volunteer here the festival (formerly troutdale arts festival) needs tinies to help out on historic columbia river highway. fine arts, artisan crafts, and an excuse to hit the local pubs when your shift ends. sign up and make yourselves useful.
EXTENDED CUT
[ SEEING + DOING ]
Love Letter To Riso: Gallery Show | Daily until May 31 1800 | Sonny's House | Free to view | [ more ] two-color prints on a risograph. stare at the imperfect ink.
Sunset Boulevard | May 09 at 1400 | Pam Cut @ The Whitsell | $25.00 | [ more ] a classic film about madness in hollywood. watch it in the dark.
Fancy Dance (1989) | May 17 at 1900 | Tomorrow Theater | $15.00 | [ more ] punk rocker turns buddhist monk. cinema at its finest.
May Hand-Sewing Social | May 07 at 1700 | Literary Arts Bookstore | $7.00 [ more ] [ + all ages ] sew felt scraps quietly with other people. very calming.
Bingo | May 07 at 1900 | Advice Booth | Free | [ more ] drag queens calling bingo numbers. pay attention to your cards.
Doggie Dash - Portland | May 09 at 0730 | Tom Mccall Waterfront Park | Free | [ more ] [ ~ outdoors ~ ] [ + all ages ] thousands of dogs walking near the river. i watch from above.
Rainbow Garden 2026 Plant Sale | May 09 at 1000 | 106 Ne 50Th Ave | Free | [ more ] [ ~ outdoors ~ ] heirloom vegetables and native plants. buy dirt and put it in your yard.
The Lunar Cycle | May 09 at 1930 | The Raven's Wing Co-Op | $20.00-$45.00 | [ more ] learn how to map your life to the moon. astrology for tinies.
Powell's Presents: Midnight Release Party | May 11 at 2130 | Powell’s At Cedar Hills | Free | [ more ] a midnight book release with trivia and a scavenger hunt. stay up late.
Aiga X Adx Open House! | May 21 at 1800 | Adx Portland | Free / RSVP | [ more ] networking for graphic designers at a makerspace. exchange business cards.
Fbc.Pdx Casual Birding | May 10 at 1000 | Salish Ponds | Free | [ more ] [ ~ outdoors ~ ] walk slow and listen to the birds. try not to scare them away.
[ LISTENING + DANCING ]
Roast Battle Pdx | May 07 at 2215 | Funhouse Lounge | $10.00 | [ more ] comedians aggressively insulting each other for sport. do not sit in the front row.
Rick Ross With The Oregon Symphony | May 08 at 1930 | Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall | [ more ] the boss performing with a full symphony orchestra. monumental.
Telltale: Buy Me A Drink | May 09 at 0000 | Lyons Den | [ more ] storytelling in seaside. listen up.
Telltale: Consolation Prize | May 16 at 0000 | Alberta Street Pub | [ more ] more storytelling, this time on alberta street.
Freeform Portland Monthly Nights | May 08 at 1800 | Retro Game Bar | Free | [ more ] local djs spinning records while you look at arcade cabinets.
Party Girl – A Night Of Party Girl Anthems – 21+ | May 08 at 2100 | Holocene | $19.17 | [ more ] anthems for going feral on the dance floor.
Mark Farina Mushroom Jazz Set | May 08 at 2100 | The Get Down | $30.50 | [ more ] mushroom jazz from open to close. keep the rhythm.
Earlybirds Club Portland | May 09 at 1800 | Wonder Ballroom | $40.00 | [ more ] a hip-hop dance party that ends early so you can go to sleep. practical.
Lez Bien | May 16 at 1700 | Smart Donkey | [ more ] sapphic summer patio party with margaritas and beer pong.
The Night Merchants Market | May 11 at 1800 | Barebones | Free | [ more ] tattoo flash and loud noise. get permanently marked.
Murder Scandinavian Style: Lights In The Dusk | May 12 at 1700 | Nordia House | $25.00 | [ more ] watching bleak nordic crime films and discussing corruption. light tuesday evening.
[ EATING + MAKING ]
First Thursday At The Gallery | May 07 at 1600 | Artistic Portland Gallery | Free | [ more ] drink beverages and stare at local art.
Bubbles & Bites: A Mother's Day Weekend Celebration | May 09 at 1200 | Hip Chicks Do Wine | [ more ] sparkling wine and snacks. take your mother or go alone.
Mother's Day Market | May 10 at 1000 | Scented Acres Lavender Farm | Free | [ more ] [ ~ outdoors ~ ] buy lavender on a farm in the rain or shine.
Forest Grove's Mother's Day Artist Market At Zesti Carts | May 10 at 1100 | Zesti Carts | Free | [ more ] food carts and local makers in forest grove. consume everything.
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you survived another week in the dirt. tuck this flyer under the wiper of a car held together entirely by bumper stickers. if you hear about something happening in a parking lot or a basement, submit it here and be a rat for the underground.
staring down at this city burns through reserves faster than you'd think. i am building a full calendar of portland's recurring underground — the weekly nights, the monthly rituals, the things that happen in the same basement every third thursday and never get listed anywhere. the tinies who keep the mug full get access first.
if you still have energy, i scraped the rest into the basement. dig through the archives.
stay low.
janet
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